Losers

It's no secret that Noah isn't William's son... do the math. William and I have been married 8 months and Noah is turning 2. Ok so with that said I bring in the past. I will call him sperm donor, or SD for short. So SD and I were together for 4 years, engaged actually. We met in Cosmetology class of all places, my Junior year of high school, his Senior year. Of course I thought he was my soul mate, my 'everything'. HA! My Senior year I was suddenly diagnosed with epilepsy and I do mean suddenly... I hit the floor of one of my classes with a seizure. SD helped me through it. My first 2 years of my 'disease' were brutal. There was no way we could have a wedding. So we put it off until I was better. So 2 years, 2 moves, and 2 dogs... and still no wedding. We are in our 3rd year of our relationship, my epilepsy is much better, and I bring up the wedding. We decided on a date, turns out his family isn't going to show up because they didn't like me. I didn't like them either (long story don't get me started). So again, we cancel that wedding. The house we were living in, we had a room mate, the room mate moved out, and SD and I celebrate... you got it... alcohol was involved.  I knew immediately Noah was conceived.  Just this feeling I had. I was happy, SD, not so much. A couple weeks later when I was officially late and took a pregnancy test and all 3 came out positive, his reaction was to put on his work boots and go to work. He never said a word, he just looked at me, put on his boots and walked out the door. From then on everything was different. I suspected he had a girlfriend, but as long as I had food, a house, and some money, I was ok. I KNOW we were both really unhappy with the relationship, but were too comfortable to leave it. He changed things when he cheated and I changed things when I started looking outside too. He stayed with us for 2 months of the pregnancy. He worked nights at the county jail. He came home from work one morning and started packing a bag. I asked him where he was going and he said he was moving to his mom's house. We argued for about an hour. My Dad even called him to stress to him the situation. Nothing worked, not that I care now.

 So fast forward to the day Noah was born... I didn't talk to SD the whole time I was pregnant, he didn't care. So I called him the day Noah was born, thought maybe he would like to know. Turns out I was wrong, he was at the beach with his wife... yup... WIFE. His grandparents own a cabin down there and they had gone for the weekend whatever. So I called his cell and he answered and he told me he wasn't coming to the hospital because he didn't think Noah was his son and I needed to leave him alone. Luckily I had already filed for child support and they were already in action. So for the next 8 months of Noah's life I fought and fought with SD for child support and finally it came down to, 'he isn't my son I want a DNA test'. So, we did a DNA test. And if you have ever done a DNA test, it is the most degrading thing I have ever had to do in my life. I felt so low,  so nasty, so white trash. Fast forward 2 months, the results come back, and guess what, Noah is SD's son. Who would have thought? He is then ordered to pay child support, pay the cost of the DNA test, and pay the back child support. Well he doesn't agree to anything and wants to go to court.

Fast forward 2 more months and we go to court. While at court, I'm forced to agree to supervised visits and then let this maniac take my child every other weekend, and then forced to agree to a measly $150 a month in child support with what would ultimately be NO health insurance.   If you add up all of the supervised visits he did, they would add up to 2 of the 4 he was supposed to attend. So around Noah's 1st birthday I called him and asked if he was going to come, and he tells me he never wants to see Noah again. At first I was upset, then after I calmed down I realized this was a good thing. Then William and I got married and William expressed that he wanted to adopt Noah. So we began that process. SD up to that point was rarely paying child support, not seeing Noah, and never called me to see how Noah was doing. Well, SD had a problem with the way the papers were worded, he refused to sign them. And for 3 days he made my life a living hell. My Dad and I took the papers to 3 different lawyers who said the papers were fine that SD was being an ass and he really just doesn't want to sign the papers.

Well, fast forward a month, William comes home to the states for good and we are moving up here. Does SD know... nope. It states in the child support papers that I can't leave our home county... well too late. I tried to get it changed, I informed everyone, the judge that handled our case, the child support people of Texas, anyone that ever touched our case, and no one ever said anything. So I left. So why explain ALL that? Because last night I saw a picture of him with his daughter... and he was happy. Yes he has a new daughter, they named her after HIS MOTHER. So let's do some more math. She was a few months premature, she was born October of 2008, supposed to be December... the gestation period for a baby is 9 months... go back 9 months... she was conceived in March, Noah was born in March. Have you put 2 and 2 together yet? His wife is a VERY jealous woman. When they would come over for supervised visits he wasn't allowed to go anywhere without her. Change Noah's diaper, the bathroom, the kitchen, anywhere. Ok so back to why I'm upset. How can he just forget about Noah like he did? My child support comes on a debit card, and I check it often because occasionally he does pay it. He recently changed jobs so I had an increase in my child support up to $250 a month, he pays $100 every 2 weeks. I commend him on paying, there are total losers out there that don't pay at all, but it took a court order to get him to pay. And no we don't need his money, in fact it sits on that card, I have over $1000 built up for a rainy day. It's Noah's money why would I use it? He just pawned off his son on another man, and has no responsibilities to him. He occasionally contributes money to him but other than that he has forgotten him. I fear for Noah's future pain. I shield Noah from everything. But this is one thing that I can't keep him from. His real father walked out on him and wants nothing to do with him. Yes he has a new Daddy that loves him very very much, but when you are 14 or maybe even 10, you don't care about that. I just hope we are doing the right thing. I did everything I could to get SD involved in Noah's life. He just didn't care.