My Latest Rants

Ok so first off, I'm going to laugh, LOL... I used to blog like every day, and now I'm good if I get it in once a week or at least once every other week. Just seems like I would rather spend time with my husband than type on the computer. You just never know when the Navy is going to take him away again. And really... these days, you just never know. I am going to try and work it back into my schedule... seems like my life was a lot SANER when I blogged. Like my bff Meg said, 'This is your public diary!' Well, lol, yes it is. Ok, first rant... NOAH. Omg, people wonder why I never dress this kid. Hello?! If I could keep clothes on him I would. He is a 2 year old streaker. I wake up every morning and he is naked, we go out in public and he starts taking off his clothes. What's even worse is every morning, he poops, takes off his diaper, puts it in the diaper pale, and then runs around. He doesn't wipe the poop on anything, but the remaining that he didn't get off his butt does get on the carpet, his bed... whatever he happened to lay on.

Next rant, of course my family. My mother still hasn't called. I'm still angry with all of them for blaming this whole thing on me. To recap: something pretty bad happened to my brother born from my mom, they asked for my brother born from my dad's number, I said no, yada yada, they blamed the thing that happened to my brother from my mother on me. Oh and now they aren't talking to me. I know I was right, Dad's son wasn't involved in this thing, had nothing to do with it. And I wasn't about to get him involved. I feel like I constantly have to justify my actions with them. One day they will see that I was right. Oh and when I say they, I mean my mom and her mom, my grandmother, oh and my evil sister who I never really liked in the first place. 

Next rant, my neurologist. I told him I have a migraine. Not a typical migraine. This thing has gone on for about a month now. And it hurts like something fierce. Today it isn't so bad, but I have my good days and my bad days. And it has been moving around to different areas of my head. Like I think it started in the front so I thought it was just sinus so I let it go for a while. Then it moved to the back, so I thought it was stress, kind of like a tension migraine, so again I let it go. Now, it's the whole right side of my brain. It starts in the back and just throbs and pulsates all the way up to my eye ball. So what does my neuro say? Talk to my PCP. What does my PCP say? Talk to my neuro. I'm getting no where with these people and I'm still in pain.

Final rant, I'm getting tired of being negative. So when we moved up here I had a feeling William was going to be leaving. As you have probably read by now, we never spend a whole lot of time together. So once we got into our groove, I found my way of coping with everything, Double Stuffed Oreos. I think during the last 8 months, I have eaten probably 10 packages. Some of them I didn't eat alone, he helped me when he was home, and even Noah helped me when he was gone. I'm making excuses. And the Oreos aren't the only things to blame here. The Oreos weren't shoving themselves into my mouth. The point is, I have gained 20 pounds and now I'm not happy. My whole life, well except for the last 2 years of SD and my's relationship, I have been a really petite person. Now all of a sudden... WHAM!! I knew this was going to happen, I expected it actually. I told William that I was feeling depressed and the last time I felt this way I was with SD and that's when I weighed my highest. That's also when my grandmother picked on me the most. Common things she would say: 'You would be so pretty if you would just lose 30 pounds.', 'You used to be so skinny, what happened?'. I hated that part of my life, having her say those things killed me. So to be right back where I was and to hear they are taking an ALASKAN CRUISE this summer with the possibility of dropping by... I want my Oreos right now. I can do this, I can lose 20 pounds and be happy again. William wants to start working out and he says this will be something we can do together.

Ok, I will end on a positive. William and I have decided to get Noah a dog. She is a tan and white Beagle, as of right now she is a little over a month old. I decided to name her Isabella aka Bella. We are going to pick her up probably May 8. We are super excited, and think Noah will be too. He didn't know quite what to do when we were there playing with her. I'm excited, I love Beagles, and I love dogs, so I can't wait to have her home. ♥

Epilepsy...

I am a 23 year old mom to a 2 year old, and I am a Navy Wife. I also suffer from Epilepsy. I was first diagnosed back in 2005. The story goes a lot like this. I was sitting in my Computer II class doing my class work, and all day long I hadn't really felt like myself, and all of a sudden I passed out. Or what I thought was passing out. When I woke up, I was in the nurses office and she was asking me a MILLION questions that I couldn't answer because I had temporary amnesia. When I asked her what happened she said the word, grand mal seizure. Which at the time, I hadn't a clue what the hell that was, but was scared out of my mind and began to cry and ask for my mom. About 6 months later, and a ridiculous Doctor in our hometown, we got a diagnosis of Epilepsy.

When I thought we weren't getting anywhere with this Doctor I took it upon myself to get a new one. When we started going to the new Doctor things improved. I got to a point where I was seizure free for almost 2-3 years. Then of course I got pregnant which put a kink in things. After Noah was born though we got back on the right track and I was seizure free again. You would think that having a baby would cause me to have seizures... not so with me. It wasn't until our big move up here that I started having seizures again.

My main reasons for having seizures these days are lack of sleep and stress. And the last few days have been all of that. No sleep because of the neighbor's dog, stress because of the Navy and my family... sometimes I just wish I could run away. The last time I had a big 'outbreak' like this I was with SD and he knew exactly what to do. And I'm not saying William doesn't... well he doesn't. In fact, I think all this scares him to the point that he doesn't want to touch me. I'm not back having grand mal seizures, I've always had 3 different kinds, grand mal, petite mal, and auras. The past few days have just been filled with auras and petite mal seizures. And petite mal seizures just look like muscle spasms, I could have one and you would never know what it was.

The hardest part about all this, I'm going through it alone. We are working with the Navy and working the Navy system to get the best resources we can for me for when William is gone. This is just a scary feeling...

Life... on a Monday

Ok... so life hit me yesterday. Not in a bad way just in a 'OMG' kind of way. I had this happen right after William proposed. When he and I first started talking I thought he was cute, attractive and sweet... blah blah whatever. Never in my life did I think it would end up in marriage. My 'OMG' moment was when he proposed and I took a step back and realized, 'Wow I am really going to marry WILL MCEACHERN!!'. Not that it was a bad thing, just a WOW thing. Back in elementary or middle school we weren't the best of friends or even the worst of friends. Just kind of indifferent of each other. He had a nickname for me... it wasn't nice, whatever. That was his way of showing me he liked me. He has changed since then so I don't hold it against him.

My 'OMG' moment yesterday was when a friend from middle school had announced that she was marrying someone else from our middle school. I guess where I'm going with this is, I never saw it coming that William and I would get married, and I never saw it coming that the two of them would be getting married. This guy hung around our group but I never even heard him talk, so seeing him date a girl is just totally weird. I'm completely happy for the two of them don't get me wrong, I just never saw it coming. Didn't even know they were that serious. Oh well, like I told her last night, 'Where is my time machine, past selves just wouldn't believe it!'

And again today, William and I are back at the arguing. Well it started yesterday. I don't have a clue as to what our problems are but we can't seem to get the hell over it. He is helping me around the house more, but I'm still not getting my 'Mommy break', and I'm still staying just as stressed out as ever trying to keep this house together. I told him yesterday, trying to be the 1940s housewife is literally killing me. I'm not a multi-tasker, so juggling Noah and dinner doesn't work for me. I really just wish he would chip in some more. Like when I'm cooking dinner, PLEASE play with Noah. Or when I wash the clothes, help me fold them. I've had more seizures in the last 6 months than I've had in the last 2 years of Noah's life. Lord please help me...

Family

Well over the weekend my family suffered a pretty big blow. My brother was accused of something pretty serious. Now it seems as if the whole family is in an uproar about it. I'm not saying I agree with whatever is going on, but I'm just sick of the stress they put on me. I am 10 000 miles away, what do they expect me to do about it? And my mother is always calling me to try and get me involved in whatever is going on. Like I care. This thing I do care about, but other stuff like her and my stupid sister fighting. I don't care if Kacie won't call her. I don't care if Kacie is being a pain in the butt and no I won't call her for you.

But since this big thing happened, my mom has started being an even bigger bitch than usual. Well, for the last 2 years we have been kind of getting along for Noah's sake. He is her grandson he should know her. So I put up with her bullshit and whatever. Well I get married, she finally starts acting like my MOTHER. I tell her we are moving away and she really starts acting like my mother, she gets emotional and whatever. Now we are up here and she usually calls like once or twice a week and at least calls me once a week on Skype. Well I finally put two and two together.

She was only calling because Kacie wasn't being nice to her. See, I have never been the favorite daughter. But, now that Kacie is being nice, my mother has started treating me like shit again. Kacie started texting me the other day telling me that I was a bad mom, that Noah would be better off with SD and all this other stuff. Note: I have NOT spoken to Kacie in about 3 months. All of this came out of no where. So now, I am back to where I was 2 years ago. I hate my sister more than anything in the world, and I could care less about my mother. I realize Noah will be missing out, but I'm seriously sick of the games...

The Catch Up

Ok so it's been a while since I have had the TIME to sit down and write a blog. So here is what has been going on in the last few days. Over the weekend, William came home. Well, the night before I went to pick him up, a strong strong storm blew in, and had strong winds and more rain than we have seen in the last few months. Well about 2 hours before I was supposed to go and pick him up it quit raining and I was excited, maybe I would be able to get out of the car and have one of those 'Pearl Harbor' moments. HA! I got up to get Noah dressed and you wouldn't believe what I saw. What I thought was fog was actually SNOW! Everything was covered in about 3 inches of snow and with every passing minute the snow kept falling harder and harder. So in a frantic I called everyone in my family that has ever been snow skiing and of course I remembered we had 4 wheel drive on our car. But I was scared out of my mind. Where there is snow, there is ice. And I was already nervous to get William, but on top of that I had snow to tackle. Everything turned out great though.

The boys played in the snow that day and we got some great pictures. And of course we had Easter. The boys also had fun dying Easter eggs. Noah tried to eat one of the dying tablets so his tongue was temporarily turned pink. Sadly, no one in this house eats boiled eggs. So now I have about 10 boiled eggs and don't know what to do with them. But we all had fun. And Easter William grilled us a chicken on the grill. He is getting much better. The chicken turned out great and we have TONS of leftovers.

After the ship came in, the Capt gave everyone the holidays off and a few extra days to spend with family. So William has been home for the last few days and finally returned to work today. But Monday we went and bought a few things for Noah's room. Last night I bought him a potty chair. I think we are going to start potty training. He is showing some signs. And we are seriously interested in a beautiful Beagle out close to Tacoma. She won't be ready until May 11 so that gives us plenty of prep time. It has been a busy couple of days. Glad we can finally get back to our routine, and try and get back to some kind of normal...

It's Thursday

So I haven't written in a while. William and I have been going through some issues. Well, he has. He had a family member pass away the other day. And he himself was having a hard time with it. This is the second death he hasn't been there for. I know he is still upset but he doesn't show it when he talks to me. I know William, I know he is still upset. And I know it bothers him that he can't be there for his family. What bothers me, is he claims he is sooo close to his family, yet they never talk to each other. His mom never calls, nor does he ever call his mom. I mean, I know I'm not close to my family by any means, but we talk at least once a week. Sometimes more than that. And I know with him being on the boat it makes it hard. But they could email like I have to do. It seems like they don't even make an effort. Or even when he is in port, neither one of them call each other. Well, William will call his mother, just to let her know he is home. I guess I'm just surprised at their relationship.

Maybe it's a different kind of close than what I'm used to. SD was VERY close to his family. I mean his mom would call 10 times a day, if he wouldn't answer, she would come over or call the police to go and find him. I guess thats just what I expect to see when I hear 'I' am very close to my family.' Well anyways... I have been busy cleaning and whatever around the house. I noticed the toilets were growing mold... yuck. What I have noticed up here is everything grows mold. Back home, nothing did it. Up here, the bread molds, the toilets mold... EVERYTHING. So like once a week I have to clean the toilet, and now we have to keep bread in the fridge. And because Easter is coming up I have started baking all of our goodies. Noah helped me bake some cookies this morning. Tomorrow we may bake some cupcakes and decorate them into bunnies, I haven't decided yet.

And the weather is so gorgeous today it's hard to believe it's going to take a turn for the worse tomorrow. I guess this is the calm before the storm. Oh and I just remembered... I need to go and fix Noah's Easter basket... duh...

Next Weekend

So I received an e-mail last night, and all week long William has been playing this game. He told me 'we' we doing something in April but he couldn't tell me what. I just assumed he was talking about the boat because he couldn't tell me. I was wrong. He meant we as in us. He was trying to surprise me. Keywords there being, TRYING. When he was here last he mentioned a Michael Buble concert. And I'm a HUGE Michael Buble fan. Well I like jazz in general, but Michael puts a pop spin on it. Plus he is just really cute. Or he was... now since he has been on tour and writing nonstop albums he just looks tired.

Well before, when William tried to surprise me, it didn't work. He told me the date of when it was and I googled it and voila. But he said he couldn't get the tickets. They were all sold out, which I find hard to believe. But it was an awesome deal, $90 for damn dear front row, PLUS backstage passes. So I was a little upset that he didn't get them. But he made up for it by getting us tickets to Kooza Cirque du Soleil. And we are doing that as a family. So I think Noah will really like it. Or we will find out. Anyways, all week he has been playing this game and all of a sudden he started up with this, 'you have to get a sitter for next weekend'. He wouldn't talk about anything else but that. I tried to work my magic, but got no bites.

Well hopefully this will be a lesson to him, we have a kid now, he needs to start thinking about what we are going to do with Noah before he rushes off and starts making any kind of plans. But I got to the bottom of his plan... I just put 2 and 2 together. It wasn't that hard. I'm happy and upset. Wish he would have told me a little sooner so that I could have a sitter, but on the other hand, we are going to see Michael Buble... maybe...