Sublte Differences

So not that it bothers me, it really doesn't... well ok it does. I knew before I married William that he was a spiritual person. We are both Baptist, the only difference, he likes to go to church, I don't. I was forced as a child to go, and feel like I was forced into a religion. Not that I don't believe, I totally do. God has gotten me things, and even gotten me through things that I wouldn't be able to do on my own. Maybe it was the church I was going to. It was big, politics were often involved, snottiness played a big factor in which class you were in, and how much money you had or didn't have played a HUGE factor in whether or not anyone knew your name. When I was going through my stuff with SD, I started going to a small church with my aunt and her husband and really enjoyed it. Everyone knew your name, and because the income was all the same, money wasn't even discussed. Ok so aside from that, William and I got married and he wants to force me into church again. Now I feel like I did as a child. And William and I come from totally different church backgrounds. I'm used to the traditional, no 'Hallelujah'  screaming, no dancing in the aisles, whatever. He on the other hand... well he is. We occasionally have a tiff over it, but no big deal. I don't care about going to church. I'm not opposed, but I don't want to be forced to go either.

The other night during pillow talk, he mentioned saying his nightly prayer, and he was going to sleep. I pray, not every night. I had no idea he prayed every night. So I asked him what he prayed about. The tone of his voice was one I'm not really familiar with, kinda shaky, unsure of himself. Like maybe he thought I was going to judge him. I would never do that, I just wanted to know what he talked to God about that he couldn't talk to me about.

So William and I have come to a kind of decision. And I will be woman enough to admit, while I did go to church as a child, I didn't pay attention much. And while I will admit I am a Baptist now, I still don't know much. And my husband will admit he knows everything. So, he has a few guys on his ship that he is friends with, one guy that is on his crew in particular that is Mormon. Apparently the cool thing around here is to be Mormon, there are a lot of them around here. So William has talked to this one guy a lot about it, and apparently they worship a lot like I like. And William brought up one day on our way home from Wal Mart going to their church. While it would satisfy his needs in going to church, I feel I would betray my beliefs and I know I would betray my grandmother who is so damn Baptist she crucifies any other belief that walks through her door. I have really been thinking about the Mormon thing though. I know William really wants to start going to church again and I don't want Noah to grow up not knowing God. While I may hate my grandmother for forcing me to go to church, without her doing it, I wouldn't have gone.